So close...yet so far

Yes, that is my "breast" friend <----- that was a lame joke..I know!

I have been exclusively pumping now for 10 solid months. I set a goal to give Harper breastmilk for 12 months. I'm almost to the finish line, I can feel it. But, I'm not close enough. I'm literally counting down the months/days/weeks/hours/minutes/seconds.

I'm so over pumping. I only do it now because I know it's best for Harper and our family. I don't judge anyone who decides breast feeding/pumping doesn't work for them, it just worked for us.

I gave myself no option but to give Harper breastmilk. I just thought I would be nursing, not pumping. After Harper was born 5 weeks early, I knew giving her breast milk would be the best thing I could do for at that time. But if I'm completely honest, I know it was best on our wallets too. I knew I had 9 weeks of no paycheck, a babysitter to pay and diapers and wipes to buy. I felt I was left with no other option. It was what worked best for us.

I had a tremendous support system. My husband, mom and friends were my biggest cheerleaders. If I didn't have their support, Harper would be a formula baby. (Which again, I don't judge and don't have a problem with...just sayin).  Between Harper being a preemie and having jaundice, breast feeding just didn't work. Enter my "breast" friend.

We have travelled a tough road Patty the Pump. You have been with me for EVERY.SINGLE. feeding. Anywhere I go, you go too. We are BFF's.....but I can't wait to break up. It's me, not you. You haven't done a thing wrong. As a matter of fact, you have done everything perfectly...which is why this break up is so hard to do. Just know, you will have given me a good year.

So with that being said....TWO.MORE.MONTHS!

(maybe less actually! I have a deep freezer that is somewhat full, so I'm thinking I may give up pumping within the next month and give her my freezer stash until it runs out).

It's so funny though. I talk this big talk about how I can't wait to give up pumping, but honestly, I get a little anxious and nervous when I think about not pumping anymore. Maybe it's because a piece of Harper's "babyhood" is leaving and I'm not ready to give it up. I don't know...I guess it will be a bittersweet time for me.

With that being said, I can't wait to have my body to myself before the next baby. Because I know it's rinse and repeat when I have Baby Cutlip v.2.